An Easy Target

Don't touch it!  Don't go near it!

That's what I am, an easy target for weight loss, detox, after holiday cut back, new year possibilities. You'll note I avoided the use of the dreaded word/concept "resolutions." I'm cutting them out of my repertoire this year, or, more accurately, I'm not broadcasting my resolutions. In that way I'll be the only one aware of the fact I fall outside the success statistics.

Probably, I should have shared my latest information in that realm on January 2nd, but I'm still working on my "No More Procrastination" resolution from previous Januarys. But I figure this falls succinctly within the better late than never category.

OK then. On the TV news the other night a nutritionist said that we shouldn't panic when we step on the scale after holiday indulgences. He claimed -- and I'm sure you, like moi meme hope he's right -- that those two to three pounds are not "real weight," but rather simple old water weight from overly salted holiday fare.

To lose the weight, which isn't really, he said drink tons of water (I forgot to write down how much, but it was a lot, much more than our eight glasses a day), don't go near the salt shaker and avoid sparkly water because it adds "bloat" which makes us feel yucky and look poochy.

(I just thought I would try out those words in the new year. I don't think I've ever written them before.)

No, no, no and no. You'll be sorry. . .

He said we should stick to the no salt, flat water regime for three to four days and the weight will disappear -- naturally. . .

A great friend of mine, a magazine editor, told me the best selling issues, bolstered by massive e-mail feedback, always have features about flat stomachs. Bubbly water distends the stomach. And, of course, I love it so. Lots of bubbly waters also have high salt content. Sometimes you just can't win.